What do you hold?

What do you hold onto? What gets you through the day? When other things fail and people break promises, lie, and let you down, what do you count on? This past year has been the darkest of my adult life and despite so many terrible things happening around me, every time I try accept what is happening and find hope, more things go wrong, break down, fail, betray, lose. I have reached the point where hope feels not only naive, but foolish. My potential college majors and careers laid out in front of me all feel wrong. My home town feels foreign, and everywhere I look to move feels questionable. What is one left to hold onto at the end of the day? When the dark has overcome the light? When No potential options feel right and where you are feels wrong, where does one go? This is not a social commentary with a decisive point and direction at the end my friends. This is an admittance of defeat. This is a point of starting over and letting go of everything I once thought I knew. Caring less and living more. Focusing on being rather than planning. Life isn’t what I thought it was and now I’m forced to adapt.


Life, and other let downs.

What is this life? Why do we press forward? What do we have in store for our efforts? People say life is short, and relative to many things, it is. Why is it that life still eludes so many? Society tells me that right after high school you’re supposed to go to college and then start your career. It’s just that simple. Right? For the people in my generation I can count on one hand and still have room to call someone a loser the number of people I’ve seen actually get into a career after college, much less a career that has anything to do with what they now have a piece of paper declaring them educated in. I see people join the military. Some enjoy that life and some don’t. The point is that there is no longer a plethora of options for twenty-somethings anymore. Even if we go along with what society tells us to do, we are guaranteed nothing. No return for our effort, no happiness, and certainly no compensation. Times have changed and they aren’t in our favor. No longer do we have the chance to pick up our father’s trade, find an honest and decent living in a trade or anything else for that matter. We have gambles. We have the chance at having a happy and financially comfortable life but it is only a chance. There is little we can do in our own favor. By little, I mean the only, and I do mean only thing we can do to improve ourself, our life, and our happiness is to take control of our own lives, don’t live as we’re told but as we’ve learned. If you want to do something, live somewhere, experience something, do it. This mandate has been echoed all over society but so few seem to actually think about what it means. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Own this day and the next. Stop hoping, hope is the bread of your mind. It has no nutrients or value. It will fatten you and leave you wanting flavor and meat. Stop hoping and do what you want, what is best for you in the long term, and what will make you happy. And for those immature out there, doing what you want does not exclude you from being responsible for your actions. You will be held accountable, one way or another. In the end, you simply have to live.