Born Sick.

We are all born sick. We all suffer. We all struggle. What so few people fail to realize is that it’s not what we’ve been through, or even what we are currently going through that defines us. Some people have gone through hell and back just to survive and yet most of the time you’d never know it because they don’t let it define them. Some people have had most of their life extremely easy with minor problems here and there and yet they try and use every single hardship, no matter how small, as a crutch. They lean on them and say “But you don’t know what I’ve been through,” when confronted about their actions. This difference, this decision, it is what makes us who we are. Do we sit back and try to get pity for the things that have happened to us or do we stand up and say “I’ve been hurt, betrayed, abused, lied to, and dragged through most of my life kicking and screaming but that doesn’t mean I can’t control where I step next.” We are not our problems or even our past. We are who we are, good and bad. We alone decide what is next for us. Every step, another conscious effort to move forward, stand still, or fall back. Those who have been through the most, those that are broken, yet still decide to love and keep moving forward, this are the rare gems. Those are the strongest people around. They usually never even know it, but that’s one of the things that makes them great. They just need someone around to hold their hand and remind them that their future is so much brighter than their past. Life simply isn’t about what has happened. It’s about what will happen. History only repeat itself when no one remembers it.

Humanity.

After years and years of being treated terrible by certain family members, betrayed by friends, cheated on by girlfriends, and being exposed to the depravity that is society, I’ve become cynical, bitter, hateful, closed off, and untrusting. I developed these traits as a direct reaction to the negativity I’ve experienced and witnessed. In some ways I’m more obvious about how I feel but in others I’ve kept it hidden. Only those closest to me have been enlightened as to my daily struggle with how I view most people. Having the ability to read people to a deep extent is a very draining thing. I see their core, I see their intent, and I see who they are. I see who they really are. Up until this point in my life I had been so aware of the negative in people that I’ve started to hate them. Truly hate them. I’ve become disgusted at who they are, the way they treat others, and the intent of their actions and pursuits. Tonight (02/15/2015) however, all this changed. I witnessed an individual who contained the most pure sincerity, humbleness, zeal, love, and heart that I’ve ever seen in my life. It was all I had not to be brought to tears immediately. Our interactions were brief, less than 5 minutes. In that time I saw more sincerity and kind-heartedness than the previous 26 years of my life. It gave me a glimpse of what is out there. Of what I could be. Of what we all could be. It showed me that there are still people worth helping out there. It made me want to find a way to change, to alter my views. I implore you to do the same. This was the most eye-opening, life changing experience I’ve ever had. I’m still somewhat in shock and trying to process everything. I don’t expect this will be a quick realization or change but it will be dramatic. I’m not saying I’m just going to magically start seeing the world through rose colored lenses, but I am saying if someone as cynical, bitter, and hateful as myself can take a step back and re-evaluate their entire set of views, so can you. Do whatever it takes to be happy. Don’t care what anyone else says or thinks. Search out happiness through career, education, social interactions, and simply in anything you can. Cherish the good people in your life. Don’t be afraid to cut off the negative influences or inputs to your life. Talk to someone about your goals, realize them. Make plans, set goals, take chances, and live.

Lies.

A sarcastic doctor on a no longer airing television show once said “Everybody lies.” There are even college courses on this very philosophy. Why though? Why do we lie? For convenience? Greed? Fear? Do we lie because we are taught to or would that even matter? Would we just observe how the liar gets away with the injustice scot free? Would we constantly work out the pros and cons in our heads? The cost of getting caught versus value of getting away with it. Is that all it comes down to for us? People, as a whole, are lying, thieving, manipulating, greedy little bastards. People say that in everyone theres is good. Well then people must put an awful lot of effort into hiding that good. The facts are that if people can’t handle the weight of telling the truth in the small, minuscule times that it hardly effects anyone, why should they be trusted with anything more? The bottom line that all lies can be tracked back to is selfishness. Selfishness is an epidemic in society and they lengths that people will go and the effort they will put forth simply to get what they want is mind boggling. They will do so at seemingly no care or consideration to the effects their actions, words, or lack of either have on other people. There are good people, and there are bad people. The bad far outnumber the good. The saddest reason for this is that it’s simply easier to be a bad person than it is not to. To be a good person is to accept responsibility for one’s thoughts and actions. This is not a popular way of life currently. In fact most people are willing to put incredible amounts of effort into avoiding responsibility of any sort. Everybody may lie, but remember this one last beautiful and satisfying thought, everybody also gets caught. 

Good Night. 

Fear.

What is this thing called fear? By definition; An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. So fear is not the evidence of anything, it is the belief or expectancy of it. And if fear is the negative what is the positive? I mean, for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction right? Well, if faith is the opposite of fear, fear being the negative and faith being the positive, they are the rulers of our lives. One of the two governs us with an iron fist. It influences our decisions, sometimes even making them for us all together. Unfortunately, sometimes people are overcome by the negative. They allow it to control who they are. Simply put if someone is not living a lifestyle of faith, they ARE living in fear. Faith is believing the positive and fear is believing the negative. The power of our mouths is infinite. Should anyone truly come to the realization of this and the world would change drastically in a matter of months. If we speak the positive into existence then we have the same effect on the negative. People obsess over their fears, because it’s easier than holding onto their hopes. People worry and worry about sicknesses and accidents and then they begin to cause themselves to believe that these things WILL or ARE happening. But the same effect can be applied to the positive. The steps to this freedom are first thinking something, then speaking it, then knowing it, then living. See I believe that the reason our tongues are so powerful, is because they can trick our mind. They can make us believe anything, it just has to be convincing enough. Ever know anyone who was absolutely terrified of becoming a certain way or doing something wrong? What ended up happening? In most cases it’s the unfortunate truth that they epitomize their fear. With that in mind wouldn’t it be nice to be able to epitomize your hopes, beliefs and dreams? What is the limit? What are we capable of? Well, in my opinion, the sky is the limit. I sincerely pity the people who live their lives in fear. Fear of what COULD happen, what MIGHT hurt them, fear of the unknown. Are they even truly living? Is it worth the caution? Is it worth the pain? I mean wouldn’t that be so incredibly limiting? What opportunities would be missed by fear of what they could be? Why would anyone ever want to live this way? It doesn’t make logical sense, right? Of course not! But in the society that we live in people often leave any logic they once clung to in the dark. They start operating out of emotions and feelings rather than logic and common sense. And wasn’t fear an emotion? Faith is a decision, fear is an emotion. What a revelation! That we can live by our own choices on what to believe rather than our fleeting emotions? I promise you that if presented to the highest educated psychologist, it would be almost comical. People live in fear because it’s easier! Yes, if you are not enraged by that then you need more air supply. People seem to do everything these days simply out of ease. It’s an apathetic mindset that is very self-destructive. It eases the chance of actually having repercussions for one’s actions. No one wants to be accountable these days it seems. But what is faith if not the accountability that forces us to take our thoughts captive and actually work at getting places in life, progressing, and bettering ourselves. People have to start manning up and becoming “old fashioned” as our forefathers were, or so little will be accomplished. What a glorious day when people gain this knowledge and actually apply it, but what a dark time until then. So what is this thing called fear? Well, if you ask me, it’s an excuse. What do you think?

 

Life, and other let downs.

What is this life? Why do we press forward? What do we have in store for our efforts? People say life is short, and relative to many things, it is. Why is it that life still eludes so many? Society tells me that right after high school you’re supposed to go to college and then start your career. It’s just that simple. Right? For the people in my generation I can count on one hand and still have room to call someone a loser the number of people I’ve seen actually get into a career after college, much less a career that has anything to do with what they now have a piece of paper declaring them educated in. I see people join the military. Some enjoy that life and some don’t. The point is that there is no longer a plethora of options for twenty-somethings anymore. Even if we go along with what society tells us to do, we are guaranteed nothing. No return for our effort, no happiness, and certainly no compensation. Times have changed and they aren’t in our favor. No longer do we have the chance to pick up our father’s trade, find an honest and decent living in a trade or anything else for that matter. We have gambles. We have the chance at having a happy and financially comfortable life but it is only a chance. There is little we can do in our own favor. By little, I mean the only, and I do mean only thing we can do to improve ourself, our life, and our happiness is to take control of our own lives, don’t live as we’re told but as we’ve learned. If you want to do something, live somewhere, experience something, do it. This mandate has been echoed all over society but so few seem to actually think about what it means. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Own this day and the next. Stop hoping, hope is the bread of your mind. It has no nutrients or value. It will fatten you and leave you wanting flavor and meat. Stop hoping and do what you want, what is best for you in the long term, and what will make you happy. And for those immature out there, doing what you want does not exclude you from being responsible for your actions. You will be held accountable, one way or another. In the end, you simply have to live. 

Uncertainty.

What is this blight called uncertainty? This fiend, this thief, this opportunist, this silent stalker. Uncertainty will take indescribable peace and turn it into torment. Uncertainty will take direction and turn it into a blank map. Uncertainty will take confirmation and turn it into aggression. Uncertainty will take everything you know and convince you that you never knew it t begin with. It will make you question even the most noble of causes and turn your generosity to pure selfishness. Uncertainty will do its best to conceal its origin and replace it with you. Uncertainty loves itself and hates the truth. Uncertainty is a stalker; it likes to get to know its victims before it kindly places its hand on their shoulder quietly assuring them of themselves. Uncertainty is in the air we breathe and the water we drink. Uncertainty is FEAR. 

Who are we?

No one wants to be lonely. No one wants to go through life without someone by their side. People say that when you stop looking for someone, that’s when you find them. People say that it can be difficult to find someone who is compatible with you. The truth is two fold. These days it’s not about finding someone who is compatible, it’s not about someone who you think you can simply get along with anymore. The most important, and often hardest part of finding someone to share your life with is finding someone who won’t hurt you. We have become a selfish and self-seeking people. We will say and do horrible things to the people we supposedly care about in order to spare ourselves even the slightest inconvenience. It’s finding someone who will truly be honest and not discount the feelings and cares of others that is in fact the real rarity these days. Hell, it’s hard to even find friends like this much less a significant other. If all of that wasn’t enough to make you throw your arms in the air in total defeat the second truth to finding someone, which can be equally hard is the chance that they are in fact attracted to you not just for who you are, but yes, what you look like as well. Personality and the things that make us who we are can only go so far in attraction. If there is not a baseline physical attraction there is no way to fabricate it. The sad thing is that most people are not even remotely aware enough of this fact to pay attention to it and therefor only go for people they find extremely attractive, almost fully ignoring their personality and character traits. Who we are is what sticks around and comes out from under the cracks of our conversations and time spent. This is why so many people get together so fast, seem so founded, and then break up so hard. They ignore who each other are and lean solely on the fact that find each other physically attractive, then they find out things a little down the road that should have been obvious and they turn out to be deal breakers. Now there are only two ways to go about this as, like I said, most people don’t pay enough attention or have the awareness to look past physical attraction (or lack of). You can be yourself and hope that’s enough to catch someone’s eye or if in fact you don’t like your odds you can change them. Society tells us this latter is the only way to attain happiness however they also like to elude to the fact that if you aren’t born attractive you aren’t a pure breed for lack of a better term. If you have to work at, or simply try to alter your appearance to become more attractive to your intended they imply that you’re not in the same status as those born that way. I however disagree. I think people who decide they don’t like themselves after looking in the mirror and decide it’s time for a change, one accomplished, are far more entitled than those born that way. It’s the same context as someone who is living off of a trust fund vs someone who actually worked hard and earned their way to the top. They know the value and power of where they are vs where they were. They also know how the people who aren’t there yet feel and provided they aren’t an ass of a person, won’t perpetuate the societal finger pointing. The bottom line is that while people will tell you what they will, you have to watch out for yourself when trying to find a partner in life. It’s become a nasty and dangerous game. If you want to come out alive you have to be smart, cunning, aware, alert, observant, and most of all, willing to do whatever is required. I share this not out of concern for your well being, but for the simple purpose of shedding a little more light on the little pieces of pocket lint that like to peruse the lines of the lonely while portraying themselves as anything but cowardly scavengers. When it comes down to it, who are we?