Let’s talk.

Now that the social media hype has worn down over Bruce, now Caitlyn Jenner, I had a few thoughts that I felt needed to be heard and pondered upon. Alright, here goes. People have referred to Jenner as a hero, and praised them for deciding it was time to be the person they are deep down. A lot of people have also said that Jenner has set a great example for the transgender community. I agree that to make any kind of step like that, it’s a very big deal, mentally and physically. Let’s take all aspects into consideration though. Jenner is a millionaire. She hasn’t had to “work” in years. When the decision was made to make the big change, she didn’t have to worry about missing work, not being able to cover the incredible medical cost of the surgeries, or even the cost of the medications and hormone therapy. When the decision was made there was literally almost nothing to think about other than the internal decision itself. Think about how uncommon this kind of situation is. For the huge majority of pre-op transgender individuals who can’t afford the surgery, the medications, the hormones, or even miss work without out losing too much income or even fear of losing their job. What kind of example was set for them? Oh, yeah, you’re brave as long as you can afford to do everything you need to in order to look how you feel. What about the individuals who can’t afford any of it? What about the people who are mentally stuck inside a body they don’t feel at home in yet can’t afford to do a single thing about it? What kind of message has Jenner set for them? Why hasn’t she come forward to say something to encourage the people who aren’t in her extremely unique financial situation. I.E., nearly everyone else. It sincerely bothers me that someone can allow themselves to remain such a focal point for the media, let people give them all sorts of positive titles, but not have any problems with the fact that every time someone talks about how brave they are there’s plenty of people out there who would absolutely take the steps she did… if they could. I’m not saying she’s a bad person or some sort of ass. I don’t know much Jenner’s personality as an individual. It just sincerely bothers me that everyone is, now was I guess, drawing so much attention to someone trying to set them as a positive example even though their circumstances are unattainable for almost everyone else.

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What do you hold?

What do you hold onto? What gets you through the day? When other things fail and people break promises, lie, and let you down, what do you count on? This past year has been the darkest of my adult life and despite so many terrible things happening around me, every time I try accept what is happening and find hope, more things go wrong, break down, fail, betray, lose. I have reached the point where hope feels not only naive, but foolish. My potential college majors and careers laid out in front of me all feel wrong. My home town feels foreign, and everywhere I look to move feels questionable. What is one left to hold onto at the end of the day? When the dark has overcome the light? When No potential options feel right and where you are feels wrong, where does one go? This is not a social commentary with a decisive point and direction at the end my friends. This is an admittance of defeat. This is a point of starting over and letting go of everything I once thought I knew. Caring less and living more. Focusing on being rather than planning. Life isn’t what I thought it was and now I’m forced to adapt.